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This is a link a found on one of the blogs I check daily. I think that it is very true of the Church today, and I hope you enjoy reading it. http://hancaquam.blogspot.com/2008/10/church-is-not-wal-mart.html

Waiting

Simon Peter was good at fishing. He'd put much time and effort into his trade. He knew the waters. He knew how to read the signs and find the fish.

Early in the Gospels, before Peter left everything to follow Jesus, Jesus was preaching to a large crowd from Simon Peter's boat. (I'm in Luke 5: 1 -11, in case you were wondering) Peter, Andrew, James, and John had been fishing all night and had caught nothing. When Jesus finished preaching, he told Peter to row the boat out into the deeper water to catch some fish. Peter responds to Jesus, as I frequently do, by declaring that they aren't likely to catch anything, but agreeing to act in accord with Jesus' command all the same, since it is Jesus giving it.

What happens next, of course, is a very large amount of fish filling the net. So many in fact, that two boats were filled almost to the point of sinking. Now, it is arguably true that what follows this scene is where the meat of story lies, but my prayer has lead me to stop here at the moment. Yes, Peter is soon told that he will be catching men instead of fish, but I don't want to lose the message of the story thus far.

When we look at the miracle performed by Christ, we must ask ourselves what purpose it serves. Biblical Scholars will tell you that the fish weren't needed. There was not a fish shortage. Sure, the four fishermen hadn't caught any that night, but that happened from time to time. What strikes me in this story, about this miracle, is that when Peter fished at Jesus' command, he caught more fish then he could have on his own.

So many times in my life, I find myself doing things that I do well. I automatically think that since I'm good at _______, I can do it anytime and it will turn out okay. This might be true, in fact it probably is. However, when I choose actions based on this principle, I lack something very important. I lack the understanding that when I wait for God's command, I can do so much more.

Just like Peter, who could catch plenty of fish on his own, when I wait for God to tell me to do something, I will do that thing with power beyond my own ability. (It will bear greater fruit as well) It is hard for me to be at Benedictine right now. I had an amazing summer, especially when working with the youth group at my parish. The program there is going great now, and I want to be part of it. I often find myself thinking that if I were there, I could be on core team, and I could do it well. My prayer this morning reminded me that while that is most likely true, if I wait until God asks me to be there, I will be there in His power, not my own. This means that His work will be done through me, which is much better then my own work being done through me.

John 3: 27 - 30

"John answered, 'No one can receive anything except what is given him from heaven. You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, I am not the Christ, but I have been sent before him. He who has the bride is the bridegroom; the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom's voice; therefore this joy of mine is now full. He must increase, but I must decrease."

To Know Thy Son

"When the wine failed, the mother of Jesus said to him, 'They have no wine.' And Jesus said to her, 'O woman, what have you to do with me? My hour has not yet come.' His mother said to the servants, 'Do whatever he tells you.'" (John 2:3-5) I was meditating on this scripture in prayer this morning, and I reflected on the appearance of contradiction between Jesus' response to Mary and her command to the servants. When I read Jesus' words to her, I am left with the impression that He does not intend to do anything about the wine. However, when Mary hears His response, she knows that He will do something about it. As I placed myself in the scene of the first miracle, I imagined Mary's face during this interaction. Whereas I sit in confusion, Mary and her Son look intently into each other's eyes and communicate more then words can express. I can see Mary's eyes blazing with truth and confidence, as she breaks eye contact with her Son, turns to the servants, and tells them to "do whatever he tells you." It is because Mary knows her Son that she is able to know that He will act. She spent many years knowing Him, studying His ways, and loving Him. She knew Him in a way that enabled her to know more about the meaning of His words then we can know by reading them. The importance of this my life lies not only in my need to better understand the way Jesus speaks to me, but also in my ability to clearly lead others to follow His will. Just as Mary knew her Son well and lead the servants in obedience to Christ, I must know Him well, and I must do so in such a way so as to lead others to follow His path.

History

Today, Benedictine begins the celebration of 150 years of Benedictine education in Atchison, KS. As I sat listening to the homily at the all school mass this morning, I heard a story that has become familiar to me in my time here at BC. The story is that of how our school has reached this year of celebration. However, today when I heard this story, it lead me to a new realization. I sat there taking in the words of the difficulties faced throughout the journey and somewhere inside me I sensed a growing sense of obligation to those who have gone before me. It is so easy to look at Benedictine in all its goodness and ignore the hardship that went into it becoming this place I love. There have been countless times in the story that is Benedictine that men and women gone before have had to fight hard to see our vision lived. I now have sense obligation to those men and women. I believe that we owe it to them to continue promoting and valuing the Benedictine they dedicated their lives to building. This is our history. This is who we are. This is what we have to maintain.

Knowing Jesus

Jesus wants us to know Him. Matthew 22, tells us to love God with all our heart, with all our soul, and with all our mind. A lot of times it seems like the soul part of that tends to come naturally. My soul longs for something more (a.k.a God) without much work on my part. My mind tends to be easily satisfied - not to say that my mind grasps all of God, rather to say that it is easy to read and think, which help to satisfy loving God with my mind. My heart is a different story. Proverbs 3:3 tells us to "write these things on the tablet of our hearts." My heart should be so much a part of what my soul longs for and my mind understands that those things are actually written on my heart itself. I read that, and I immediately ask myself two questions: What does that mean? How in the world do I make it happen in my life? The first question is one I have asked myself many times. I remember sharing my frustrations involving this topic with a retreat small group once. I shared how I knew Jesus in my head, but I couldn't seem to get my heart on board. It was on that retreat that I learned this story about Blessed Mother Theresa. She heard her calling to form the religious order she began while on a train ride. That was the last time in her life that she felt God's presence in prayer. We don't have to look hard to see how much she loved God. It resonated from her very life. It is through this story that I came to understand how to know and love God in my heart. I was able to see the mistake I was falling into. In my quest to get my heart in the game, I was chasing after a feeling. I wanted to feel God in my prayer. I wanted to feel Him in my life. Blessed Mother Theresa's story showed me that it isn't about a feeling, after all she knew God with her heart for years without feeling Him there. When we look at her life we see, through her actions that she loved God with her heart. From this I learned that knowing and loving God in my heart changes the way I live. All of the knowledge I have in my head is known also in my heart when I allow it to transform me. When I know it in my heart it changes the way I live, the way I pray, and the way I listen to and read scriptures. This is the beginning of what I think is the answer to the second question: how do I do this? How do I get the knowledge from my head to my heart? The answer I think is simple. I just have to allow what I know in my head and long for in my soul to change the way I live. I have to let it dictate who I am.

From the Book: To Know Christ Jesus (Sheed) Post 2

"The Holy Family was a family - not a mother and a son with a man in the house. Joseph and Mary were husband and wife, and Jesus was son of both; Mary's son by birth, Joseph's son because Joseph had accepted him, which for Jewish law was decisive. Joseph was the head of the house. ... Joseph was not simply a man living in the house. He was the head of the house, and within the family his word was law." (pgs 70 and 71) When I first read the last sentence of this, I laughed a little. I thought to myself, 'this family is made of a woman conceived Immaculately, God incarnate, and a carpenter. Still, it was the carpenter that was head of the family.' God really does work in amazing ways. This shows me not only the great importance of having the husband leading the family (which reminds me to keep this in mind in my desires for my own future spouse - God willing), but also how God does not discriminate. He has a GREAT plan for everyone. It does not matter who I am, where I've come from, or how many smarter, holier, more devout people I am surrounded by. (surrounded by amazingly holy people as I often am blessed enough to be, it is easy for me to fall into the mindset that these things do matter) God has a specific role for me to play, and He will me enable me to fulfill that role as long as I trust Him to do so (as St. Joseph did).

From the Book: To Know Christ Jesus (Sheed)

"For the rest, we can think of Mary as occupying her day like the "vigorous wife" described in the last chapter of the Book of Proverbs: 'Does she not busy herself with wool and thread, plying her hand with ready skill?" She would have made all the clothes for herself and her men, covers for the beds. All that could be done in the home she did. And she never lost contact with God, God in her soul, God playing on the floor." (pg. 69) (Bold added) This paragraph really struck deep within me. Mary, the Mother of God, had much everyday work to do in order to live the life God called her to. I think this speaks volumes for the dignity of the everyday, necessary, tasks of life. Most of all, it speaks to the importance of maintaining contact with God through this work - not only in my soul, but in all the ways He is present to me in my life.

Dedication

This story is a great example of keeping a goal in mind, being resilient, and showing dedication no matter what the circumstances. It has reminded me of how often I take any excuse I can find and use at as long as it is effective. I am lazy and unfocused. The reason this girl was successful is that she had a goal that she believed was worth working hard for. How much better would my faith be if I could keep my ultimate goal as my sole motivation for doing everything? http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080528/ap_on_fe_st/odd_perfect_attendance

N-O-R-M-A-L

Ever since I began taking an active role in growing in my faith life, I've always had one stipulation with God. (Actually, along the way I have had countless ridiculous stipulations with God, this is the most long-standing and the most recent to be shattered.) I have always said that no matter how much I grow, how holy I become, I just want to be normal. I do not want people to look at me and see someone weird. I want to give everything to God, but I do not want to stand out. This has been especially true when I think about the possibility of getting married and having kids. I want my family to be devoted Catholics, but I also want my kids to avoid being accused of doing/thinking/saying/believing weird things. Recently, I realized just how misdirected and disillusioned this desire really is. What I have now learned is that this so called "normal" that I want to maintain is marked by many key characteristics. This "normal" means lukewarm faith, and mediocre devotion. It means conditional "surrender," and a standard for morality that leaves me asking how much I can get away with. It means living a lifestyle that allows me to keep God in the tiny box I want to keep Him in, so that I can maintain control over the areas of MY life that other people might question. That is about 6 of the many lies this desire has led me to fall into. The reality that I have come to accept, the truth I have finally learned, is that "normal" is not good enough. It is not what God wants for me. God is calling me to live a set-apart life. Set-apart from our culture and the lackluster disillusioned facade that it offers as a way of life. What is "normal" does not require me to surrender everything. It does not allow me to trust God. It does not mean placing full confidence in God and in His ability to shape and form my life into a life of His peace and joy. So today marks the end of my attempts to be this so called normal. Welcome to my new commitment to let God mold every aspect of who I am and what I do into the magnificent vision He has for me. Bring on the weirdness!