Birth Control Commercials

Have you ever noticed how Birth Control Commercials are drenched in selfishness?

I'm literally sad when I watch them.

You know, I can conceive of a woman who uses birth control without understanding the extent of her choice. I do not automatically accuse that woman of selfishness. However, those commercials express and present birth control in a very selfish light.

The way that the commercials present children as desirable only when convenient is a selfish presentation. There are several commercials that go from "I don't want a kid a right now" to "Maybe I don't want to wait" and back to "On second thought, not now." All the while, showing scenes of child doing something well-behaved and cute alternated (in pace with the changing thoughts) with scenes of them causing some kind of mischief.

It's all about how the woman feels in the moment; it is not at all about the value of new human life. It places great weight on the importance of a woman's fleeting desires.

The child is presented as wanted and worthwhile only under certain circumstances. This is a far cry from the unconditional love a child deserves.

Perhaps you think that I'm over reacting.

Here's the thing though. The decision to have children should not be made based on convenience. Having a baby is not convenient. Raising a child is not convenient. Nurturing a family is not convenient. In fact, these are beautifully complicated and chaotic things. At times they are decidedly inconvenient.

But the thing about babies and children is that the gift that they are is to be celebrated even when they flushed your new watch down the toilet again right after they poured syrup all over the living room carpet. They are a blessing that perfect those around them. They teach to us to love by demanding that we hold on to less and less of our own selfishness as we learn to give more and more of the love we receive.

This is not something that women with the birth control commercial mentality understand. In fact, I'm sure that there are moments when the holiest mothers in the world struggle to hold on to that vision. The difference is that some women choose it anyway.

Those are the joyful women. Those are the women I strive to be most like.

The Visitation

As many know, the Visitation is my favorite mystery of the Rosary. I absolutely love to meditate upon what Mary and Elizabeth shared during that time.  Beyond the acknowledging of Jesus as God, beyond the out-pouring of Mary's heart and soul, we are able to see women nurturing each other in their roles as mothers. It is beautiful.

One of my favorite times to be around the married women I know is when they are pregnant or have just given birth. I love spending time with women in that state of motherhood. They are so completely given to their child. They sacrifice their very bodies, laying down every ounce of selfishness within them, to nurture the newest blessing.

What better time to nurture a woman than when she is giving so much of herself?

Happy Mothers' Day, Mom!

Dear Mom,

    Today is our 23rd Mothers' Day together.  It's also our 4th residing in different states. (Well, it isn't exactly fair and honest to count last year since Mothers' Day was the day you and dad came to begin the moving-my-stuff-back-home process.) I honestly can't remember much of the Mothers' Days past. I do remember the year a bought a Styrofoam ball, covered it with fabric, stuck mini-Tootise Pops, Sugar Daddies, and a "World's Best Mom" pin in it, and gave it to you. It ended up looking something like a strange turkey with no head.  And there was the year I made you a small cake and decorated it with chocolate icing, only to have the day end with us talking about how neither of us like cake all that much. I'm certain we will never forget and will always laugh at the many, many cheap dollar store gifts I thought (at the time) were perfect.

   I remember funny stories, but I do not recall the sentiments. That is odd for me, as you know, I'm usually quite sentimental. Although you have always rightly accused me of only remembering the negative, constantly telling sad stories from my childhood.  I guess with that in mind, it makes that I struggle to recall the joy of celebrating you.

   Whatever is true of the past cannot be changed, but this Mothers' Day, I am possibly more sentimental than ever before. I graduate from college in less than a week. Six days to be exact. I'm leaving the comfort and familiarity of a classroom for the adult world of jobs (ahem...well, hopefully ;-).  The ending of something that has been so good (I've always loved school - that I do remember) combined with the beginning of something new and utterly terrifying exciting has left me very sentimental indeed.

   I think I'm more grateful to you now than I've ever been before.  I love who are, not just as mom, but as a person. I love spending time with you. I love learning from you (even if my kitchen habits tend to drive you crazy). I love laughing with you. Most of all, I love that the more I grow up, the more I love you.

   Thank you for all the many things you have given to me. Happy Mothers' Day, Mom!

They aren't mine.

And this isn't about me. The children that I hope for, dream about, and beg God for, they aren't mine. They aren't about my plan. They are God's creation. He creates them with a specific purpose in mind. I have no rights to them. They come with no guaranteed time frame. And they aren't about me; they're about salvation: mine and theirs and everyone else's God's Divine Plan wills. "These children (are) made in His image, co-created in our love, born in my pain, all living here in our home." -Suzanne, Mother of 6 While they may be beautiful additions to my family, they are primarily beautiful additions to God's.

HAPPY MOHTER'S DAY

To the woman who waited in excitement for me to be born, who bought me outfit after outfit, who fed me when she would have rather slept, who cleaned me up when I fell, who lets me make a mess in her kitchen, who misses me when I haven't talked to her in a few days, who will be upset with me when she sees this picture, who loves me in the way only one woman in the world can...Happy Mother's Day, Mom!!!

I Didn't Choose Mary...

...Mary chose me. On the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, I finished a consecration to the Blessed Mother. In his homily at mass, Prior James reflected on Mary at the cross. His point was that of her free will. She freely choose to accept us as her children. This revelation brought tears to my eyes. I have great hope in one day being a mother. I believe that is God's will for me. I have said before that I can almost feel the flames on my heart when I share with God my deepest longings for motherhood. When a woman wants to be a mother, she wants it with a heart bursting to pour out love on her children. I believe that it was with this kind of passionate love that Mary took on the role of our Mother. She chose to have us as her own. She chose to devote herself to pouring out love on us. The truly amazing thing is that it isn't her love that she pours out. When Mary pours out love upon us, as only a Mother can, it the love her of Son that she gives. Through her giving of love, we are drawn ever closer to Him. Mary conceived without sin, Pray for us.