Corpus Christi Confusion

I know this is a week late, but I left for Project Life last week without making time to blog about this. Last Sunday as I was sitting at mass reflecting on Christ's sacrifice, I began to feel repulsion at the whole idea. I was mentally comparing Christ's sacrifice with the animal sacrifices of the Old Testament. In those sacrifices, the priest would hold on to the head of the animal in a ritual that was supposed to transfer his sins to the animal. Thus, when the animal was sacrificed, payment for those sins was made. In the same way, Christ takes our sins upon Himself, and He is slaughtered in the same bloody mess as the animals of the Old Testament. It was at this point that my reflection became a bit too much for my comfort level. The vast humiliation that Christ's suffering includes is not something I would want for anyone, much less the Love of My Life, my Savior and King. I didn't want the cross. I didn't want the Eucharist. I knew that without those things there could be no salvation, but how could I let Christ suffer in my place? How could I let the cross be my fault? Last Sunday, I learned something new about love. My capacity to be loved by God increased, because I gained a greater understanding of just how minuscule my understanding of love is. For reasons far beyond what I can comprehend, God sent His Son to freely choose to die for me. Through the paradox of the cross, the glory in the humiliation, somehow salvation is offered to me, and I become the recipient of a Love that is more glorious and true than any other love. It is truly amazing.