Truth in the Words of a Child

"When I see that picture, the first thing I think of is how special and lucky I am to have God use me that way… I feel very thankful that I was in that picture." Read the full story here...this is truly an extraordinary young man.

Quote of the Day

"As authors it is bewildering that people actually read our books. Don’t get me wrong, that is why we write them, but it’s a strange sensation to realize that somehow the way that we personally articulate ideas meshes with the way that someone else understands ideas. It’s a wonder of wonders that never ceases to amaze us." -Eric Ludy (emphasis mine) I LOVE WRITING!!!

Why do you blog?

I'm not entirely sure what was going through my mind when I began my first blog. I was in high school, and I loved to write. I've always enjoyed reading articles online, and I guess there was some part of me that wanted to write them. Someone made the comment the other day that my blog is very personal. That got me thinking about whether or not I really wanted my life available online. It provided me with the opportunity to examine why I put time and so much of myself into blogging. The truth of the matter is that I have fallen in love with reading the blogs of some very holy catholic women. Their blogs have inspired me in many ways. The stories of their lives, their faith, their families, their struggles, and their greatest joys are a constant inspiration to me and a constant reminder of the beauty of life with Christ. They are very encouraging. They are very real. Some time ago, I was reading an article that made the headline on my yahoo homepage. It was all about what secrets should be kept from your spouse in a marriage. As I rolled my eyes at its content and shook my head at the disillusionment of the world, I moved on to one of the blogs I read daily. That particular day, one of the "bloggers" had beautifully articulated a supernatural experience she had recently. I read what she wrote, and my soul was changed. I thought to myself (and said aloud to my roommate), if this were the stuff that made the yahoo headlines, the world would be a better place. The articles would truly be worth reading. It is a blessing to have such truth online. So, that is why I have been more dedicated to my blog lately. That is why I put so much of myself into it. I'm not saying that my life is particularly exemplary. Nor am I claiming that my blog will change lives, much less souls. The reason I blog is because God has clearly graced my life, my journey to Him, in countless ways. I blog in hope that maybe God will allow some of that to shine through. I don't know that anyone (other than my friends on occasion ;) ) reads my blog. However, I hope and pray that if anyone ever does, they may be inspired to pursue a life lived for Christ. People always say "you never know what you'll find on the internet." I'm just trying to increase the odds that it will be something worth finding...something that will lead to God. If people are going to stumble around online, I might as well try to provide them with an honest place to land.

Today...

Today I am grateful for finals treats from home. Today I am hoping that I'm doing God's will. Today I am discerning the practical implications of my knowledge. Today in my prayer life I will take a break from meditation. I need some time to just talk to God.

Today my friendships will grow because I will not worry so much about talking. I will listen. Today my mind will be fed as I cram information into it. (Finals time!)

Today I will celebrate the colors of Spring. (Even though I prefer the colors of fall) Today I will be a better daughter because I will call home and express gratitude. Today I will be a better student because I will focus on my studies. Today I will live Catholicism by participating in mass.

Small Prayer Time Reflection

Tonight before mass I was praying about my desire for God. I want to fall on my knees at His feet daily, in desperate need of His grace to fill me. Tonight it hit me in a new way, in order for that to happen, I actually have to go to His feet everyday and fall on my knees. I have to make it a reality by living. Sometimes the simplest logic matches providentially with God's grace. In those moments, I'm blessed to understand.

Today...

Today I am grateful that I have weekend that will not be full of minute after minute of homework. This is a nice calm before the storm of finals. Today I am hoping that I have the prudence to know the difference between rest and sloth. Today I am discerning the role that God has planned certain people to play in my life. Today in my prayer life I'm noticing that a lot of the intense drama and struggle that used to be part of my prayer life is gone now. I'm wondering if that is blessed peace or a lack of true personal contact with my God. Today my friendships will grow because I will invest in them through quality time. Today my mind will be feed by (most likely) finishing Every Young Woman's Battle.

Today I will celebrate Springfest in a fun, virtuous way. I may even go the FOCUS party tonight. Today I will be a better daughter because I will call home with plenty of time to listen. Today I will be a better student by starting to organize schoolwork for the week, even though there is nothing pressing to do. Today I will be a better Catholic because I will take time to beg for Our Mother's intercession.

I guess we will see...

...how quickly money really does talk. University of Notre Dame alumni are withholding donations. This wouldn't be happening if McCain/Palin had been elected... I'm just saying...

Fortitude...

...VIRTUE at work. Praise God for him. Click here to see what I am talking about.

True Confessions

Recently, I was trying to remember the last time in my life that I wasn't overly distracted by a member of the opposite sex. I was racking my memories for a time when either I wasn't emotionally attracted to anyone or I was successfully guarding my heart AND my mind, despite an emotionally attraction.

I was (shamefully) unable to even THINK of a time that may have fit that description.

I've been reading "Every Young Woman's Battle" by Shannon Ethridge. Thus far, it is one of the best books on chastity I have ever come across. The message of the book has been reminding me of the standards I set for myself long ago. It has been holding me accountable to the things I so love to talk about and pray about and read about and yet (all too often) fail to live out.

It is so very easy for me to mentally stalk people. It is so very easy for me to use that boring moment in class, that time just before I fall asleep at night, that time when I really don't want to be doing homework, or that time when (you name it) happens, to day dream about relationships. Trust me, it's REALLY easy. I often find myself frustrated with my inability to focus on this current season in my life.

It is hard for me to embrace being single. It is hard for me to acknowledge that which I believe God is calling me to (marriage and motherhood), while remembering that it is NOT what God wants me to be focusing on now. I'm not talking about simply praying about my vocation or for my future spouse or children. I'm not talking about discerning what God wants for my future or for my relationships. I'm talking about allowing my thoughts and prayer life to be dominated by these things.

I'm talking about denying (through my thoughts and prayers) that God is calling me to great things in the present moment, and that He has graced this time in my life for something of value to His Kingdom.

I'm trying to learn to "bounce my thoughts." It is a wonderful concept introduced to me by this book. Whenever I start to notice that my thoughts and prayers are being far too consumed by my fantasies about the future, I quickly bounce to a healthier thought. I think about healthy ways to interact with my guy friends now. I pray about what I want my relationship with God to look like 5 years from now, a year from now, a month from now, and tomorrow. I try to focus on building my present-self into the best vision I can see, and I ask God for the grace to see His vision for me.

I was talking yesterday to a holy woman I am blessed to know. (Who, by the way, is recently married and pregnant!) As we were finishing our conversation, she laughed and said that she is so glad that this time in her life is over (the time I'm currently in). She said that as she was listening to me talk, she remembered how hard it was for her to wait patiently for God. She offered me (always necessary) hope that everything truly does happen in God's time. In fact, when God's time comes for those who have been faithfully waiting, there is nothing we can do to stop Him!

In Reconciliation ...

...after I finished confessing my sins... Priest: It's Lent. Me: (smiling in an embarrassed sort of way) I know. Priest: You're supposed to be doing the opposite of those things. Me: (Shame building) I know. Priest: Well, you have a week to redeem yourself. Yes Sir! ...Holy Week already... there have been too few times when I have noticed that's it is Lent...