Space for God

Everything in this post is based on what I've learned from reading Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy.... I need to let God have more room in my life. I spend a lot of time dwelling on my future. I love thinking about being married and having children. Daydreaming about my future spouse has been one of my favorite pass-times for a long time now. I often fall asleep to thoughts about what I'll name my children and where I want to go on my honeymoon. I think that God is calling me to marriage, and I love swimming through fantasies centered around that call. My heart and mind are very much set on seeing these dreams unfold into the reality of my life. However, this book has shown me a greater reality. The deepest longings of my heart should be focused on God. My most enjoyable daydreams should involve greater spiritual intimacy with Him. Leslie refers often to an "inner sanctuary." That inner sanctuary is God's place within me. It is my first responsibility to protect that sanctuary. Nothing other than God should be allowed to enter there. My inner sanctuary is currently not filled with deep, passionate love for God. I've filled it instead with a longing for a future with the man of my dreams and our children. I see now the importance of giving that space back to God. It is in God that my greatest longings will be fulfilled. My inner sanctuary should be a place where my relationship with God is nurtured and allowed to grow and strengthen, not a place for me to imagine my future. If God wants my inner sanctuary intimacy with Him to be reflected in a relationship that is wonderful. In fact, I hope that is what God wants. Unfortunately, right now there is no intimacy with God to be reflected. All of the moments I spend blissfully longing for the man of my dreams are moments that I'm taking away from God and using for my own enjoyment. God deserves to dwell in my inner sanctuary without having to fight my earthly desires. My goal now is to give God what is rightfully His. As I build this place for God, I plan to faithfully wait in hope, trusting always in His divine grace, that He will write the beautiful story of my life in His time. He cannot do that, if do not give Him space to work.