Monday, April 20, 2009

I guess we will see... quickly money really does talk. University of Notre Dame alumni are withholding donations. This wouldn't be happening if McCain/Palin had been elected... I'm just saying...

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Friday, April 17, 2009

True Confessions

Recently, I was trying to remember the last time in my life that I wasn't overly distracted by a member of the opposite sex. I was racking my memories for a time when either I wasn't emotionally attracted to anyone or I was successfully guarding my heart AND my mind, despite an emotionally attraction.

I was (shamefully) unable to even THINK of a time that may have fit that description.

I've been reading "Every Young Woman's Battle" by Shannon Ethridge. Thus far, it is one of the best books on chastity I have ever come across. The message of the book has been reminding me of the standards I set for myself long ago. It has been holding me accountable to the things I so love to talk about and pray about and read about and yet (all too often) fail to live out.

It is so very easy for me to mentally stalk people. It is so very easy for me to use that boring moment in class, that time just before I fall asleep at night, that time when I really don't want to be doing homework, or that time when (you name it) happens, to day dream about relationships. Trust me, it's REALLY easy. I often find myself frustrated with my inability to focus on this current season in my life.

It is hard for me to embrace being single. It is hard for me to acknowledge that which I believe God is calling me to (marriage and motherhood), while remembering that it is NOT what God wants me to be focusing on now. I'm not talking about simply praying about my vocation or for my future spouse or children. I'm not talking about discerning what God wants for my future or for my relationships. I'm talking about allowing my thoughts and prayer life to be dominated by these things.

I'm talking about denying (through my thoughts and prayers) that God is calling me to great things in the present moment, and that He has graced this time in my life for something of value to His Kingdom.

I'm trying to learn to "bounce my thoughts." It is a wonderful concept introduced to me by this book. Whenever I start to notice that my thoughts and prayers are being far too consumed by my fantasies about the future, I quickly bounce to a healthier thought. I think about healthy ways to interact with my guy friends now. I pray about what I want my relationship with God to look like 5 years from now, a year from now, a month from now, and tomorrow. I try to focus on building my present-self into the best vision I can see, and I ask God for the grace to see His vision for me.

I was talking yesterday to a holy woman I am blessed to know. (Who, by the way, is recently married and pregnant!) As we were finishing our conversation, she laughed and said that she is so glad that this time in her life is over (the time I'm currently in). She said that as she was listening to me talk, she remembered how hard it was for her to wait patiently for God. She offered me (always necessary) hope that everything truly does happen in God's time. In fact, when God's time comes for those who have been faithfully waiting, there is nothing we can do to stop Him!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

In Reconciliation ...

...after I finished confessing my sins... Priest: It's Lent. Me: (smiling in an embarrassed sort of way) I know. Priest: You're supposed to be doing the opposite of those things. Me: (Shame building) I know. Priest: Well, you have a week to redeem yourself. Yes Sir! ...Holy Week already... there have been too few times when I have noticed that's it is Lent...