It's not about balancing...

...it's about listening. Over the past four or five months, I have spent much time pondering my desires. I believe that God purposefully places desires within us. It is through the desires that He gives that we are able to know that to which He calls us. For this reason, I have made it a point to treat my desires with great care and delicacy. Ultimately, I strive to cultivate these desires in a way that enables me to surrender them. Typically the process begins with a newfound desire. I then have to ask myself whether this is a desire that God is giving me or if it is something I desire for selfish ends. I spend time in prayer surrendering the desire to God. However, I've noticed that as soon as I discern that my desire is in fact from God, I take it and run away with it. I begin to control it. I begin to use it in the way I want to use it, all the while telling myself that it is okay because, after all, God gave me the desire. Upon noticing this unfocused and misdirected tendency, I became confused. How am I to balance surrender with action? Thankfully, God is a God of Providence. Through my confusion, He taught me that it isn't about learning to balance. When God gives me a desire, my only action should be one of surrender. It is through my action of surrender that God will give me the wisdom to know how He wants me to use the desire. Now all I have to do is learn how to listen...