I have not blogged in a very, very long time. I didn't blog at all in the month of June. I'm not sure I've ever skipped an entire month before; I'll have to check the archives.
It is hard to blog confusion. And my life has been largely dominated by confusion.
Here are some things I've learned:
1.) Sometimes even the best commitments to prayer don't bring forth clear answers. These are the times when we have to learn to trust God more. These are the times when we have to learn to accept that grace is a constant that is working even when it is mostly undetectable to us.
2.) Sometimes God asks us to do things (or keep doing things) that in many ways we'd rather not do. These are the times when we have to seriously ask ourselves whether this life is about us or Him. These are the times when we have to hold on and give more - even when our hearts (and minds and emotions) have had enough.
3.) Sometimes God doesn't give us relief from our suffering. These are the times when we have to find a way to accept and understand that His ways are perfect. Faultless. And no matter how obvious it may be to us that something else would be simpler - would be better, these are the times when we cannot listen to that lie. His ways are best.
4.) Sometimes our heads hurt to the point of explosion trying to makes sense of things. Sometimes our hearts break, crumble to tiny pieces, and fall trying to figure out how best to love. These are the times when we have to realize that God loves us. His love is enough. His love is constant. His love great. His love is powerful. These are the times when -despite all the struggle, fear, pain, desire for more ... despite the endless journey - we have to know, in the depths of our hearts, with all of who we are, that God's love is so. much. bigger.
Lessons in trust and patience do not come easily. However, these are the times when we must pray for the virtue of hope. We have to hope that joy and peace are coming.
In God's time.
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