This Place

Last night there was a band playing live music on campus. I went with great excitement. Since I've been student teaching, I haven't been very involved in campus-life (to say the least). This event genuinely sounded like fun. So, I persuaded all of my apartment-mates that it would be worth our time, and we went together.

The band played a lot of covers, which was good, and their sound was pretty good too. Overall, it was an enjoyable experience. Unexpectedly, it was an event that led me to adoration.

For the past four years, I have been blessed beyond measure. Though I have said those words before, I doubt that I mean them with enough sincerity even now. Benedictine is place of true community. It is a place of clear identity. It is the home to a vast majority that strives to live not for this life, but for the next.

To the world outside of Benedictine, I look (and sometimes feel) like I am one of the few.  It can be difficult to find people who are genuinely and with great passion striving to live a life within the context of God's will.  Many people seem to live within the context of their own desires.

Though true devotion may be a characteristic of the minority, I know that is the characteristic of more than only a few. Benedictine has taught me that.

Last night, at that concert, I was struck with genuine gratitude. I am honestly and eternally thankful to the God who led me here, to this place. Through it He has taught me many things.  I have learned much about His Church and about who He is. I learned the necessity, beauty, battle, and peaceful joy of discernment.

I have learned that I am not alone. He is with me, not only in His omnipresence, but also in a true and tangible way in the hearts of those who surround me. And those people are a true gift, a reminder of His undying faithfulness and His sacred and good plan.

Through this place, I have been wrapped up in God Himself.  When I'm no longer here, He'll still be wrapped around me.

In this place, I have learned to trust Him. I have learned faith.

I said death 2x and dead 1x, but still...

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The Year 2101

Student: In the year 3000 I'll be a hundred years old!

Me: You would be a thousand years old.

Student: Oh. I'll probably live to 2101. Then I'll be 101 years old.

Me: I see.

Student: You'll be dead!

Failure

I've been bothered lately by the apparent lack of sacrifice in my Lenten devotion.  Since I knew I would be student teaching, I didn't want to go as hard-core this Lent as had been typical in the past. However, I think it became an excuse for me to demand little of myself, despite its well-intentioned beginning.

Today I heard the story of priest who once said that 40 days was just long enough for us to fail.  The point being that Lent is time for us to focus on putting forth our very best so that when we fail we come to more fully acknowledge that, even with our best efforts, we are desperately in need of God's grace, and, when it comes down to it, we are nothing without Him.

Daybook: Tears

FOR TODAY
(March 23, 2010)

Outside my window... today was warm. The nice weather allowed outdoor recess!

I am thinking... that it is possible that I have the right desire but the wrong interpretation of what God wants it to lead me to.

I am thankful for... ice cream

From the kitchen... Caf lunches Tuesday - Thursday. I need to go shopping.

I am wearing... PJs because this is the last thing on my list for today. To school I wore a skirt and green shirt.

I am creating... ?





On my ipod... Hold Us Together and Crazy Dreams are quite frequent.
 
I am going... home for Easter...but not soon enough

I am reading... For Lent: The Power of the Cross: Applying the Passion of Christ to Your Life by Michael Dubruiel. The Best School Year Ever to my students.

I am hoping... that I find joy soon.

I am hearing... fans blowing in the room

Around the apartment...Kristie is back! (and she found Alias Season 4 - it was in her car the whole time). Dazzer should be back soon...

One of my favorite things... sleeping in.

A few plans for the rest of the week: I'm not in the mood for more plans.

Visit Peggy for more daybook entries!

From the Mouth of a Child

Teacher: When you see the letters "BC"  at the end of a year, what does that tell you?

Student: It stands for "Before Christ," so you know that it was a year before Jesus was born.

Teacher: Good. And about when we see "AD?"

Student #2: It means it is a year after Jesus was born.

Teacher: Right!

Student #3: I know why they didn't use "AC."

Teacher: You do? Why is that?

Student #3: Because AC is air-conditioning. (laughing) It wouldn't make sense to say '1410 air-conditioning.'
 

From the Mouth of a Child

Student: Wow! I can't believe this school has been around for over 100 years! It must be the luckiest school in the world! (pause) I told all of my friends that this is the luckiest school because we get to talk about God and learn more about Jesus.

Though "luckiest" would not have been my word of choice, I share his sentiments.

Fallen Away

I don't know the statistics. I'm not sure I really want to. I do know that many, many Catholics fall away from their faith.

I've said on many occasions that, at this point in my faith life, it would take a whole lot for me to turn my back on my faith. From my perspective, though I have much, much more to learn, I've grown a lot in my ability to trust God. I've found that loving God and His will even when it doesn't make much sense to me is the only thing that actually makes me happy in this life, and the only thing that will lead me to the next.

In his letter to the Romans, St. Paul is in anguish over Jewish rejection of Christ. He notes that to the Jewish people God gave so much: sonship, glory, the patriarchs, the law, and the promises. Yet when God sent the Messiah for which they had been waiting, they rejected Him.  When I read that, I can connect in some way with Paul's anguish. It is sad.

What if it is my story too?

Continuing through Paul's letter, he talks about the Gentiles being grafted on the tree. He warns them not to be boastful.  He cautions them to remember that their faith is a gift. It is a manifestation of God's glory and goodness. It is through no power of their own. It is because God holds them their, through His faithfulness.

I have to remember this too. Those lessons I have learned in faith and trust are gifts. I've learned them only because God has allowed it. I learn them only when I listen well. To His voice. Not mine.

My prayer is that I heed Paul's warning. My faith is a gift. I should not boast.

It is God who holds me here.

Daybook: No Voice Today

FOR TODAY

(March 16, 2010)

Outside my window... I will wear a skirt to school every day this week...well...every day except Friday. Friday is a dress down day, and I will happily be wearing jeans. Anyway, back to the weather. It was supposed to be warm all week. Today is more than chilly. It is supposed to warm up again, but then get cold this weekend. Snow is in the forecast. Again. I've never been one of those people who acts like her happiness depends upon the current season leaving and the next one coming. This time around - I'm acting suspiciously like that person.

I am thinking... that maybe, just maybe not being 100% certain is more than just the way things will sometimes be - it might actually be the makings of something truly wonderful.

I am thankful for... an abundance of movies to watch with a good friend while we busily plan lessons and grade papers.

From the kitchen... since the vast majority of students are on Spring Break this week, I'm using the kitchen for every meal. Thursday night a wonderful, holy Catholic family will bless our apartment with its presence for dinner.

I am wearing... the shirt and sweater I wore to school...the skirt has been replaced by jeans, the pantyhose by socks, and the dress shoes by tennis shoes.

I am creating... valuable experiences. Well...I guess "creating" is a stretch. But I am, without a doubt, learning from them.

I am going... to learn to love the moment, and live like that is true.

I am reading...  For Lent: The Power of the Cross: Applying the Passion of Christ to Your Life by Michael Dubruiel - so far, this has been a great, very practical, Lenten devotional. Also, I was seeking something fiction, intellectual enough to keep me from being bored, yet ultimately lighthearted. A friend lent me her copy of Winesburg, Ohio by Sherwood Anderson. It's a series of short stories that are the perfect length for brief yet enjoyable reading.

I am hoping... that I continue to be joyfully enthralled by the deep waters of discernment.

I am hearing... Gilmore Girls

Around the apartment...with only two of us here, the chores have fallen slightly behind. Everything will be caught up before those dinner guests I mentioned arrive on Thursday night.

One of my favorite things... being able to talk. Even though I always thought it would be fun lose my voice, I really, really just want to be able teach.


On my ipod... Matt Maher's Hold Us Together - I absolutely love this song.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Get my voice back. Get closer to Heaven. (Not in that order!)

The Mission and Purpose of Catholic Education

Perhaps you have heard; perhaps not.

A Catholic School in Denver refused future enrollment to two students who are in the custody of a lesbian couple.  Of course, the school and Catholic community within the diocese has heard a lot of criticism regarding the matter.  The archbishop's statement can be read here.

For some reason, it is hard for me pinpoint what I think about this. Other than my inclination to trust the decision of the Bishop, I honestly have mixed thoughts.

My very first reaction, before the person who first shared this information with me had even finished, was a positive one. I love when the hard truths of Catholicism are defended at high cost. I was proud of the courage found in this decision.

Then my thoughts became a bit clouded. Are these children being punished (denied an education in the fullness of truth) for the sins of their caretakers? The children have done nothing wrong. In fact, they are so young that they can not have any idea the gravity of the choices being made within their home environment.  By denying them enrollment in the school, is the Church failing to love the sinner? Better yet (because the children are not the sinners), is the Church failing at an opportunity for the evangelization of the children?


Although, there is something to be said for avoiding scandal. In his letter to the Corinthians, St. Paul makes it clear that a person in sin should be removed from the community.  It would be difficult to allow the students to attend the school while keeping the lesbian couple away from the community. In fact, because of the belief in Catholic education that parents are the primary educators of their children, it would be nearly impossible for the School to remain true to that belief - with it comes the necessity of parental involvement.

What it seems to come down to is this: what is the mission and purpose of Catholic schools? If the purpose is (as the bishop of Denver indicates) to create an environment in which children can be educated within the moral boundaries of Catholicism, without worry of outside influence, then, clearly, the correct decision has been made. However, if there is a strong pull for evangelization within the mission, my previous points begin to bear more weight. (...I said that as if I had drawn a direct conclusion...)