Women's Night Session 2

"You have ravished my heart, my sister, my bride, you have ravished my heart with one glance of your eye..." Song of Songs 4:9 I think that this verse captures in a powerful way what a lot of women want when it comes to the way that they look. Sometimes, we just want to walk into a room and have heads turn and people thinking about how beautiful we are. I can remember once in grade school going to a class bowling party. I walked in the room, and Michael Jeffferson (whom I had a crush on at the time) gave me this look of repulsion. It was a horrifying moment. Now, at the time, I had just begun experimenting with make-up, so there is a real chance that the way I looked actually merited his reaction. Regardless, I went straight to the bathroom to talk with other girls about how I looked like crap. Unfortunately, we had all brought make-up with us, just in case we needed to touch up. I probably walked out of the bathroom looking worse than I did going in. Fast forward a few months and I was on my way to a surprise birthday party for one of the boys in my class. Everyone was gathered in the basement, and I knew I had to walk down the stairs with all of the judging eyes on me. I took a deep breath before beginning the journey. When I got down there, everyone was normal. I was so relieved that I had avoided another bowling-alley incident. I wore that exact same outfit (the one that met the approval of my peers) as much as possible. (Side Note: as for the bowling alley outfit...I never wore any part of it again). A lot of times, young (and old) women try to make themselves look a certain way in order to get attention. They use their looks as a means of filling the need to know that they are desired by the opposite sex. This is how the world tells us to make ourselves beautiful. In a survey done by Dove, it was found that only 2% of women would describe themselves as beautiful. The most intriguing part of this is that those results come from a time when beauty can be bought. Even the celebrities who "have it" by the world's standards aren't satisfied with their appearance. We live in a world that gives us a false standard for beauty, and then tells us to chase that image for our own sake. The reality, however, is that even those who meet that standard do not find happiness for themselves.

Modern feminism has done its job well, reminding us that we shouldn't seek the approval of the opposite sex, convincing us that everything we do should be only for ourselves and no one else. So, presumably, we wear slinky thongs and super-push-up bras not because they makes us attractive to men, but because they make us feel good about ourselves. We spend hours at the mall snatching up the latest sexy trends because we are "comfortable" enough with our bodies to carelessly showcase them to the world... We obey the tyranny of pop culture under the guise that we are free to do whatever we want, whatever makes us feel good. As modern young women, we have deluded ourselves into thinking we are empowered, but in reality we couldn't be more ensnared. We convince ourselves that we are making our own decisions, that we are listening to our own voice, but in truth we are like putty in the hands of the culture's warped agenda. Young women today are supposed to be the most liberated, independent, confident, and fulfilled of any in history. But we are a desperate, lonely, (and) insecure ... lot - plagued by eating disorders, abusive relationships, emotional breakdowns, and sexual chaos. We've been looking for beauty in the wrong place. And our incessant search for beauty has stripped us of all that is truly beautiful. (Set-Apart Femininity, Pg 11-12)"

So, if today's culture has left us facing the opposite direction of true beauty, what is truly beautiful? "Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting; the woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30 True, lasting beauty is supernatural; it comes from God.

The Beauty that comes from loving and serving God with a happy heart is a beauty that endures even when your figure has fallen south and wrinkles adorn your face. True beauty doesn't come from fresh makeup, the latest hairstyle, or how you look in your blue jeans. Rather, it radiates from the inside out, from a heart that delights in the Lord (Every Young Woman's Battle, 54)."

Pursuing beauty is not a bad thing; in fact, it is important! However, it order to properly seek and find beauty, we have to keep in mind it's purpose. All beauty comes from God. "All of us, gazing with unveiled face on the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, as from the Lord who is the Spirit." (2 Corinthians 3:18) Beauty is God's gift to us, meant to bring glory to Him. Our beauty is meant to draw others closer to God, not to draw attention to us. We are created in the image of God. We are created beautiful. But as with all of God's creation, that beauty is best seen when it allows God's greatness and glory to be seen. The most beautiful women that I know absolutely radiate God's love. They are beautiful because their holiness allows their beauty to unveil the beauty of God. I don't mean to belittle the problem. The voice of the world is loud, and people all around us are buying in, surrendering to its disillusioned standards. But look at the holy young women around you. Look at those women (young and old) that are walking beside you in Truth. When you look around, do you see ugly? I don't. I see pure, holy beauty. I'm not saying that you have to pretend to love what you see in the mirror. I could list things I see that I don't love. The point is this, we cannot allow ourselves to be distracted by what we see. One of the best lessons I learned from the Harry Potter books is this, in order to win the battles within us, we have to decide that there is something more important to focus on. Harry struggles through 3 books to stay out of Voldemort's mind. He does not succeed until his life depends on it. He cannot win the battle until there is something he acknowledges as more important. God has a great purpose for each of us as individuals. What it all comes down to is this, we can either focus on trying to build up ourselves, chasing the vanity of the world, or we can focus on building up His Kingdom. I'll close with this thought from Every Young Woman's Battle (Pg. 60). "Do you want to spend your life looking into mirrors, distracted by your own reflection and how your looks compare to others, or do you want to invest your life looking beyond yourself and into a world of people who need to experience the love of God through you?"