Friday, December 31, 2010

2010 Awards (And Other Memories)

Kayla Hartmann (as always)

Pete. It may only be because, in working with him, he has become the friend I talk to most consistently.

 The 2010 Lifeteen Leadership Conference

Wow. There have kind of been a lot.

Student teaching was hard - not really a low, just hard.

The whole job search/I-have-no-idea-what-I'm-supposed-to-do-with-my-life phase wasn't that great.

Graduating and leaving Benedictine was a difficult transition.

The summer was a hard time of desolation, in which God took many comforts away so that I would trust Him more.

Teaching isn't easy. Again, not necessarily a "low," but difficult nonetheless.

I'm going to go with my brother's wedding. I know it isn't really a "holiday," but it was a great family gathering and celebration.

Lifted High by Andy Needham

Rather than watching a lot of movies, I watched a lot of NCIS. I really enjoy watching NCIS.

The Splendor of the Church by Henri DeLubac

Sarah Daz. End. Of. Story.

Lion's Choice. No joke.

Dr. Blosser. Always. And still.

To go to the Holy Land.

Not trusting people who are clearly worthy of my trust.

Graduating college.
Getting a job.
Buying a car.'s been a big year for change.

To be fully given. First to God. Then to those He places in my life so that I may give of myself more and more.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

What Will You Do With Your Time Off?

Ha! That's an easy one...

1.) NOT wear make-up.
2.) Wear jeans and a t-shirt as much as possible.
3.) Clean my room!
4.) Clean and ORGANIZE the office.
5.) Hit up daily mass...daily - that's one commitment that will be difficult.
6.) Hang out with friends.
7.) Catch up with AYM paper work.
8.) Write Christmas Thank-You Notes.
9.) Go see Harry Potter.
10.) Have McDonalds for breakfast (probably more than once).
11.) Have a SOCIAL LIFE.
12.) Get ALL of my school papers graded and organized.
13.) Get a week-ahead in reading group plans.
14.) Have long conversations with friends near and far.
15.) REST!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Daybook: On a Day That Makes Me Worry I May Soon Have No Voice

To read a wonderful quote by St. John of the Cross (on his feast day) and my short reflection click here. To read Elizabeth's thoughts on the same quote (which I first read on her blog) click here.

(December 14, 2010)

Outside my window... C-O-L-D!  There is still snow on the grass, which makes me smile and my students crazy. It is dark, which it seems to always be when I am home (since I leave before the sun comes up and am home for about an hour of daylight in the evening. There is more "winter weather" coming!
I am thinking... that I am more in-tune with my friends and the needs of those around me when my prayer life is consistent and intentional. I should get that straightened out in my life...

I am thankful for... Cell phones. My best friends (who are much too far away) seem less far because of them.

I am wearing... PJ'S and I'm wrapped in a warm quilt!

I am creating... nothing really comes to mind...

I am going... to bed very, very soon. I sense sickness at the doorstep, and I would prefer NOT to let him in.

I am reading... To Know Christ Jesus ... some. I'm thinking of picking up Searching for and Maintaining Peace again. I really wish I could find my Advent/Christmas In Conversation with God; I think it would really help with the kind of prayer life mentioned above.

I am hoping... that certain honesty can be made manifest in a holy and God-glorifying way.

I am hearing... myself cough. Yuck.
Around the classroom...Santa Brain. The. End.

One of my favorite things... this time, it is a person. A person who just so happens to be named Sarah, but I prefer "Daz" or "Dazzer" or "Dazzers" or "Dazzerbelle"

Visit Peggy for more daybook entries! 

Sunday, December 12, 2010

How Easily I Forget

I allowed myself to get lost in blog world this morning. I let a blog I check daily lead me to a blog I've never read, which lead me to another blog I'd never read, where I saw a comment by a blog I had only read once I said, lost in blog world.  While there I was reminded of something so easily forgotten.  I was reminded that genuine openness and honesty in sharing truly inspire.

This blog has been relatively quiet. I've been busy, my students have "Santa-Brain" (today's snow probably won't help that situation tomorrow), and the St. Andrew novena has me reflecting on this liturgical season with a frequency that seems constant. However, I love writing. I love articulating what is going on inside of me. And without ever ignoring humility or failing to give all glory to God, I believe that by sharing here others may be inspired.

Thus I write today.

Givenness. I'm told by my computer that it is not a word. Fine. I'm using it anyway. God calls me to be fully given. Fully given to Him, to my family, to my students, to those around me.

Givenness. He calls me to it.

Given. I am not.

I am not fully given to my family because most encounters with them are a rushed change of clothes, a quick grabbing of food, and a run out the door to the next thing on my schedule. I am called to slow down, to give.

I am not fully given to my students because I am afraid of losing the rest of myself in loving them. I worry that if I give fully, I'll become consumed and miss other opportunities. They are so undeserving of such mistreatment on my part. I am called to give.

I am not fully given to my friends because (1) I don't see them much in social situations, (2) some of them live in different states and communication is hard, and (3) I am afraid of the cost of love. I dread the consequences (which though hard, will only make friendships stronger, holier, and more reflective of God's love for us) of total honesty and accountability.

I am not fully given to God. Though I discern in prayer and He grants many graces, I do not fully know His plan for me. While I trust that it is good, I do not fully surrender. Abandoning myself completely to His holy, divine will is scary because odds are my own vision is not His, and His will be harder (and much, much better - but that does not provide me with the immediate comfort it should). Fully giving myself to Him is the only way for me to be happy. But can I say yes to the suffering that is the cost of such love? Perhaps a better question is WILL I say yes to the suffering that is the cost of such love?

Givennes. To be fully given.

That is my prayer.