The 4th Joyful Mystery: The Presentation

I have said many times (and still claim it as true) that the 2nd Joyful Mystery - The Visitation - is my favorite of all the Rosary's mysteries. However, today it was the 4th that brought the most fruitful meditation.

There is a lot going on this mystery. There are many characters: Joseph, Mary, the infant Jesus, Simeon, and Anna.

Simeon has been waiting to meet the Messiah. He has been told that he will not die without meeting the Messiah. He bears with him the weight of that gift: constant searching, patient waiting, deep trust. As he and Anna are blessed to meet the Son of their Lord, Simeon's words call to attention the suffering that Mary will endure.

There is a lot of weight in this moment.

What Mary and Joseph have to present is the Christ Child. Jesus Himself: recently born of Mary. He is God, and He is a real and tangible symbol of what Mary and Joseph have chosen to make of their lives. He is (among many things) the fruit of their surrender.

There is a lot of weight in what they present.

What they are presenting is worthy of the moment. What they brought to God in the temple that day was something worth a joyful presentation. It was a great and powerful fulfillment of Simeon's long waiting. It was something so clearly right and good that it could withstand the sorrow of Simeon's words to Mary - that her own heart would be pierced.

This is what we need in our lives. Something worthy to present to God. Notice how the surrender of Mary and Joseph led to the gift of a worthy presentation.

When we surrender our lives, when we work to let God build our offering to Him with His own hands, that's when we can present to Him joyfully. That's when we become the instruments through which He fills the longing of man. That's when we are able to withstand the sorrowful message the world often brings.

Lord Jesus, create in me a worthy presentation for You.

A New Perspective

I just got home from a Reconciliation service. The priest began his homily by talking about the memory loss caused by Alzheimer and Dementia. He described the way that many who suffer from those diseases have forgotten who they are. They may not remember their family, what they like to do, or how to do things like receive Communion at Mass. They need people in their lives who can remind them of what they've forgotten - what they cannot remember on their own.

They've forgotten who they are.

Often times in our own lives we too forget who we are. Think for a moment about who we are. We are God's children. We are the objects of a great and perfect Love.

When we walk in the opposite direction of God - when we sin- we've forgotten who we are.

The Sacrament of Reconciliation is not only about God calling us back to Him and forgiving us. It's about God reminding us of who we are.

We are an Easter people. We are a people of the resurrection. Even when we sin, we are still a people meant to be alive in the glory of the risen Christ. How often we forget who we are.

When I don't do something because I'm too afraid, when I'm so caught up in what's going on in my life, when I'm distracted by so many loud things around me, I forget who I am.

God wants to remind us of who we are. He wants us to remember that we are good and holy and that the reality of who we are lies in His great love for us, not in our sins and failures.

What a quick and powerful prayer it is to ask God to "remind me of who I am."

The Solemnity of the Annunciation: Holy Land Style

Today the Church celebrates the solemnity of the Annunciation, which commemorates the angel Gabriel announcing to the Virgin Mary that she would conceive and bring forth the Savior of the World. We remember and allow ourselves to be inspired by Mary's fiat - her joyful surrender to God's will.

Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. Let it be done unto me according to thy word.

As those words echo in our hearts today, please enjoy some pictures from my pilgrimage to the Holy Land.

This is a picture of Mary's Well in Nazareth. This well was built over what is believed to be the site of the well from which Mary would have drawn water for her family in Nazareth. This is also the location where (in the Greek Orthodox tradition - not Roman Catholicism) Gabriel appeared to Mary.

This is the main entrance to the Catholic Church of the Annunciation. It is built over the actual home of Joachim and Anne. 

This is the grotto inside the home where the angel Gabriel appeared to Mary (upon which the church from the previous picture was built).

Our group was able to celebrate mass right in front of the site of the Annunciation. In many traditional stories, the presence of Mary is often associated with the otherwise unexplained scent of roses. One of my favorite moments on this trip was during this mass when I could smell the sweetness of roses. That sign of Mary's presence along with our proximity to the location of the holy event that occurred thousands of years ago is a memory that stills brings me joy and peace.

As we take a break from our Lenten fasting today, may the disposition of our hearts and our own surrender to the will of our Father be united to Mary and offered to God through her generous and effective intercession.

Mary, Mother of God, pray for us.

I May be on Spring Break...

...but I sure do miss the funny moments of teaching. So, in honor of my students (and with a prayer that their breaks are going very well) here are some of my favorites from the last week we were in school.

We had been discussing St. Patrick and the age he was when he died. (He lived a decently long life.) Somehow, it was mentioned that Jesus was 33 when He died...

Student: Wait! What? Jesus was 33 when He died?
Me: Yes.
Student: But why was He so young? How did He die?
Me: (looking at the student but not saying anything)
Student: (with comprehension slowly crossing his face) Oh. Right. They crucified Him.

Student: Miss Hunter, if we leave our thermometer upside down for a long time, will all of that red stuff slide down to the other end?
Me: No, that isn't the way it works. It only moves when the temperature changes.
Another Student: It isn't called "red stuff." It's called Mars.
Me: ...actually, it's Mercury.

Me: (proofreading a student's paragraph) Christopher, Christopher, Christopher, Christopher. You have 5 sentences in the paragraph, and four of them start with "Christopher." Can you think of a pronoun we could use instead of saying "Christopher" so many times?
Student: (pausing for a moment to think) Chris!

I Want to Embrace Gratitude

Waking up for daily morning mass is really, really hard for me. I rarely find the motivation. However, this morning (even after being up until 2 a.m.) was no problem. Would you like to know why?

This morning I wanted to tell Jesus "thank You" more than I wanted to sleep.

I'm serious. That's what got me out of bed.

Gratitude is a powerful thing. I remember once going through a phase where I was struggling to examine my conscience. I wasn't frequenting the Sacrament of Confession because of it. Finally one day I went down to the Chapel and started making a list of all the things for which I was grateful. After developing a decently long list, I immediately began writing all of the things for which I was sorry. After acknowledging the gifts in gratitude, my offenses against the God who had granted those gifts - my sins - became much more obvious.

I need to be grateful. I need to be aware of that gratitude. When I am, it changes me inside. It motivates me to choose God more.

In an effort to continue the gratitude, here is a list of some things for which I am currently very grateful:

1.) Time off from teaching to relax.
2.) God's mercy and forgiveness as it comes to me through the Sacraments and through the people in my life.
3.) The ability to Sacrifice willingly.
4.) The direction God is taking me.
5.) A good job.
6.) Fantastic co-workers.
7.) A "cheap show" movie theater.
8.) Friends who will join me at extremely last minute notice.
9.) Consistent and predictable phone conversations.
10.) Having a car of my own.
11.) Moments that cause me to pause and think, "wow. I might actually be an adult now."

Maybe you feel inclined to make your own gratitude lists too.

If you would like to leave a list in the comments of this post, I would LOVE to read them. If you would rather make a list as part of your private prayer I hope that time is blessed!

To Know the Father's Will

Sometimes the waters of discernment really are muddy.

Sometimes even with dedicated prayer, the intercession of the multitudes, and an honest heart God's will is simply hard to see. Not because God hides it from us, but because we only grow in our ability to discern when we are forced to work harder for the answer.

I have a friend who has noticed that when God wants him to think or pray about something, He makes it very obvious. God manages to bring up references to the topic EVERYWHERE - a bumper sticker on a car that passes by, the only words heard in a conversation that is passed.  That is not how God speaks to me.

I've lost count of the number of times that I've prayed the St. Therese novena. I've not seen a rose. People all around me have been blessed through the roses that come with that prayer. Not me. Oh I've always gained a lot of spiritual graces while praying the novena (which is what it's all about, right? ;-), but I've never seen the visible sign. That is not how God speaks to me.

To be honest, when I hear God, I hear Him fairly directly. I get a specific message. I receive that message in the stillness and quiet of my heart. (So, naturally, when I don't want to hear an answer I'm quite certain is coming, I avoid the still quiet.) I've spoken with friends who have marveled at this. They long to have God speak to them like that. Typical of human nature is the irony that I long for the signs. Hearing God the way I do comes with some problems. It is often hard for me to trust that something is His voice and not Satan's or my own.

My point is that while we all struggle through the sometimes complicated waters of discernment, we are all swimming in a sea of real and powerful graces.  When I can trust in that I can find some kind of peace. But it isn't easy. I have to set aside A LOT of my own selfishness and fears. I have to really truly believe and live the reality that His grace is sufficient, His mercy overcomes, and His love for me is so great and powerful and perfect that He'll carry me through to an even greater life with Him.

If only I trust - even when things really aren't clear.

He is there.

And is grace IS enough.

Birth Control Commercials

Have you ever noticed how Birth Control Commercials are drenched in selfishness?

I'm literally sad when I watch them.

You know, I can conceive of a woman who uses birth control without understanding the extent of her choice. I do not automatically accuse that woman of selfishness. However, those commercials express and present birth control in a very selfish light.

The way that the commercials present children as desirable only when convenient is a selfish presentation. There are several commercials that go from "I don't want a kid a right now" to "Maybe I don't want to wait" and back to "On second thought, not now." All the while, showing scenes of child doing something well-behaved and cute alternated (in pace with the changing thoughts) with scenes of them causing some kind of mischief.

It's all about how the woman feels in the moment; it is not at all about the value of new human life. It places great weight on the importance of a woman's fleeting desires.

The child is presented as wanted and worthwhile only under certain circumstances. This is a far cry from the unconditional love a child deserves.

Perhaps you think that I'm over reacting.

Here's the thing though. The decision to have children should not be made based on convenience. Having a baby is not convenient. Raising a child is not convenient. Nurturing a family is not convenient. In fact, these are beautifully complicated and chaotic things. At times they are decidedly inconvenient.

But the thing about babies and children is that the gift that they are is to be celebrated even when they flushed your new watch down the toilet again right after they poured syrup all over the living room carpet. They are a blessing that perfect those around them. They teach to us to love by demanding that we hold on to less and less of our own selfishness as we learn to give more and more of the love we receive.

This is not something that women with the birth control commercial mentality understand. In fact, I'm sure that there are moments when the holiest mothers in the world struggle to hold on to that vision. The difference is that some women choose it anyway.

Those are the joyful women. Those are the women I strive to be most like.

Alive and Well

This blog has been quiet. Strangely quiet. I quickly made a daybook post last week, but I had an obvious typo in the TITLE that I didn't even notice until today.

I'm alive. And well. I'm praying and thinking and growing. God is teaching me things, showing me things, and asking me to give Him things. It's all happening, and I'm living it. I just haven't found ways to express it here. I'll give you some brief updates, but nothing too spectacular today...

1.) I've been distant with myself. There is a lot going on, but it feels like it is going on in a way that is so compartmentalized that my emotions are not in touch with my thoughts, which are not in touch with my feelings, which are not in touch with my prayers, none of which seem to be very in touch with my actions. I'm not feeling torn - just disconnected.

2.) It has been difficult to have a well-considered prayer life. I'm going to Jesus. I'm talking to Him. I'm pausing to listen. However, there is .... something ...that isn't quite there. Yesterday, (in an admittedly angry/frustrated fashion) I expressed to God my discontent with this situation. I'm somewhat certain that right now, He wants to teach me to love and trust Him more, wants to change my heart more for His will, by calling me to change the way I interact with the people around me.  I think His lesson to me now is that as I allow myself to be open to them more, to trust them more, my relationship with Him will be transformed also.

3.) I'm the kind of person who could to talk to you all day without saying anything of real substance. You could probably spend several days in a row with me without ever learning much about who I am. I tend to be guarded. It takes me a long time to open up. I can perfectly construct an answer (to just about any question) that will give you absolutely no indication of what I actually think. Some days, I could give politicians a run for their money when it comes to cryptic responses.  In many cases, this needs to change. Granted, in many friendships it has. I have close friends who know me well. However, there is this new thing happening in my life, and it demands that I overcome my tendency to avoidance.

4.) There is a place I know will lead me to God. I can walk into that place and breathe Him in. It is that breath that keeps me going. Even when things don't quite make sense, when I feel disconnected from myself, when I want to run, to scream, to abandon this path, I can walk into the place and breathe: holy breath in the presence of God. The Holy Spirit. Life itself.

I'm going to try to breathe more deeply.

Daybook: My First Full Week of School in a Long Time

FOR TODAY
(February 13, 2011)

Outside my window... We had a beautifully warm day today! I didn't wear a coat (or hat, or scarf, or gloves). I even took a nice walk outside. I'm told the 5 day forecast looks nice, but also that I should avoid looking at the 10 day forecast. So, I will.

I am thinking... about what a blessing it is to have so many people to pray for. When it is tempting to allow my prayer time to be consumed by one thing, I never have an excuse to let it happen.

I am thankful for... amazing teenagers who really do want the best out of life.

I am wearing... PJs! It's almost bed time...

I am creating... new commitments.

I am going... to make sure that I am giving. This morning (with a particular situation in mind) I asked myself, "I have really given anything to this?" The answer could, quite honestly, be no. So, I am going to make certain that I give.

I am reading... nothing much. Though I did just move my ribbon to the correct week for In Conversation with God.

I am hoping... that I'm listening to God.

I am hearing... the fan blowing. It's almost bed time, remember?
 
Around the classroom... I can be a better teacher. That is just a fact. Now, it is time to start focusing on that fact and living it.

One of my favorite things... smiles. :-)

Visit Peggy for more daybook entries!

I Didn't Let Him Sit

I've been avoiding something in my prayer life.

Want to know how I found this out?

I noticed that when I imagined Jesus in prayers and tried to encounter Him in the Gospel stories, I didn't let Him sit down. My mental picture kept Him walking. If He stopped to act in a story, I switched my perspective to that of a more distant character.

Sure sounds like avoidance, doesn't it?

The most shameful part of this is that I've been complaining in my prayers that God has been keeping things from me, hiding His wisdom and love.

It seems that all I had to do was let Him have a seat.