Lent 2009

All of this is still awaiting the approval of my spiritual director.... My theme for this Lent is CONSISTENCY. (which is, unfortunately, spelled incorrectly on my desk/in the picture) My Spiritual Commitments: - Daily Meditation - Weekly Confession (this a suite-wide commitment) - Daily Litany of Humility (this is a roommate commitment) - Making daily mass more of a priority - A renewed focus on concretely living the virtue of the day Fasting Commitments: - Drinking only water and milk - No eating between meals - No chicken - No ranch dressing I'll let you know if anything changes.... Today's Virtue = HOPE! (isn't that WONDERFUL!)

This Week at a Glance

1.) Today's virtue is Prudence. It could be said that yesterday involved failing at living its virtue (temperance). Today will hopefully fair better. I have some homework to get finished, some thing to organize for the week, sound at mass tonight, and of COURSE some high quality resting time with my God. 2.) My observation schedule is almost normal again this week; it was thrown off last week by a Writers Workshop (which will happen again next week). I'm hoping to get some extra hours in Tuesday and Thursday afternoon. (Tuesday at least). Wednesday's time will be cut short because of Ash Wednesday mass. ... perhaps "almost normal" wasn't the most accurate description. 3.) Speaking of Ash Wednesday ... my Lenten plans need to be fully formulated. I'm hoping to do some hard core fasting, make consistency a great commitment in my prayer life, and (if they all agree) I would love to make some kind of suite commitment. Please pray for me as I continue to discern all of this. 4.) This week as a fair number of unusual events. I'm not yet used to the Leadership seminar being part of my week. Ash Wednesday mass requires my services in the sound arena. Wednesday night (after class) I have sound to set up in preparation for Thursday. Thursday is a praise and worship night. Friday night is X-Alt. All the more reason to work hard at today's virtue!

School Work

I frequently find myself complaining about school work. This is especially true for Elementary Education classes. In fact, I have (on more than one occasion) taken pride in my ability to describe in great detail just how much the education classes drive me nuts. In adoration a few days ago, I was meditating on work. Here is a quote from In Conversation with God (which may not make sense out of context): "A job done in this way dignifies the one who does it and gives glory to his creator." God is calling me to be a teacher. He has blessed and chosen this path for me. I deprive that calling of its dignity and deny God His glory when I approach my work in education with a mediocre attitude. He consecrated this work for me, and my attitude makes a mockery out of His Divine calling. I give Him glory and honor when I work hard and put all of myself into my work. This then becomes a true offering.

Quickly

1.) I'm working hard on actually focusing on the virtue of the day. What's the point of writing it on the marker every morning if it never actually makes its way into my day? It will now also appear on my screen saver. Today is justice - a phone call home, an extra prayer for my professors, and some form of additional tribute to God are in today's plan.

2.) I'm closely examining my relationships. (Perhaps the Love and Responsibility class the weekend will help). I've been taking the way I relate to people to prayer a lot lately, and I think it is time for some things to change.

3.) I have a test in New Testament today - not really prepared.

4.) I'm getting up early 5 days a week. I think it will be good for me. It should help with the development of a more disciplined lifestyle. I will probably more fond of it when my body adjusts and I'm able to fall asleep earlier.

5.) Writing has lost its place in my life again. Hopefully God will show me how to bring it back.

Misinformed...

http://www.catholicnews.com/data/stories/cns/0900402.htm Sorry for any confusion.

Living

Peace. Joy. Rest. Happiness. Silence. By the grace of God, these will one day be words that describe the way I live. I want to spend time living the tradition of the Christian life. I want to move and rest to the rhythm of life in Christ - the rhythm of the liturgy. I hope to never again wish for life as it used be. I will always strive to allow life to change me, to embrace all there is to learn, to start anew in every phase - always learning the lessons life teaches, always learning to live a better life. I hope to embrace the silence. To meet God (peaceful, loving, and gentle) in the stillness. I am training myself to pause, not just externally, but internally as well. My heart and I will learn how to love God. My soul and I will learn how to rest.

Back to Formalized Education...

Classes start today. I am looking forward to getting an idea of what my life will look like this semester. I am ready for a routine. I am still determined to live better this semester. There is one error that I made in my thinking last semester that has to go. In my attempt to nurture my desires, I ended up blindly following my emotions. In that process, my true desires were forgotten. I never really found peace or happiness last semester. A distinction that will be important for me this time around is that it is the will that desires, not the emotions. Emotions that are well trained will follow the desires of the will. The will, with virtue, will follow the intellect. So, this semester, I will live so as to nurture my desires, as they are ordered to the intellect ... my emotions will catch on eventually!

Some Quick Thoughts

1.) I do not want to go back school. I love being home. I love youth group. I know that God is teaching me about the power and value of prayer while I have to be away, but it is a lesson that I am learning begrudgingly. It is this kind of stubbornness and selfishness that frequently gets in the way of God. 2.) This semester WILL be different than last. I WILL learn self-discipline. I will NOT neglect my personal development. This is known as determination - hopefully it is genuine. 3.) I see lots of tea (or coffee), prayer time, writing, and peace in my future. May God grant me the grace to really have this as my life.

Luckily, I did NOT make blogging consistently a New Year's resolution. In case you were curious as to what I chose to give up in January, the snooze button won the award this month. Should be fun...

Fireproof

I watched the movie Fireproof again tonight. It is a wonderful reminder to me that love at its most real state walks the road to Calvary and hangs naked and covered in blood on a cross. The reality of love something to fight for. This is the love I am called to live daily.