I Want to be Holy

I have a lot of memories from watching baseball with my dad over the years. I’m frequently surprised by some of the seemingly unimportant parts of a game that I remember. One game in particular, Chris Carpenter was pitching. He had been struggling early in the game, and I can remember him walking around behind the pitcher’s mound between pitches. A few innings later, he was pitching better, and I noticed that between every pitch, he was stepping off in front of the mound and walking a few steps towards home plate with his glove ready to catch the ball. I remember seeing this and, in annoyance, asking my dad why he kept doing it. As usual, to my dad this was a weird question. His response was an explanation of how he was “in the zone.” He pointed out that as opposed to earlier in the game, Carpenter wanted the ball. He was going to get it, ready to pitch. I’ve remembered this moment several times over the past few days in my pursuit of holiness. I find that a lot of times I say that I want to be holy. I say that I’m ready to grow, to be changed, and to passionately pursue what it means to be a woman of God. And yet, I sit around on my butt and don’t do anything about it. It’s like I get my uniform on and go out to the game, but then I end up just wandering around behind the mound. So, I have to ask myself, do I really want those things. Because if I really wanted them, wouldn’t I look more the Carpenter who wants to pitch, and less like the Carpenter struggling to stay in the game? Wouldn’t I be getting up off of my lazy butt and taking action? I think that I would be. My challenge is to not fall complacent behind the empty words of “I want to be holy.” Rather, I need to step in front of the mound, walking towards holiness, reaching for the ball, and actively seeking out ways to be holy. Then, I will be able to honestly say, “I want to be holy.”